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The Pathway of change

The Pathway of change

The Pathway of Change

(A guide to navigating change in your life)

At one point or another, we need to walk the pathway of change.

Change is never easy. I will admit I never enjoy change. I like it when things are predictable and I have a plan.

I will confess I like to feel I am in control.

Our world has gone through a massive change and so many have felt the impact on a global scale.

When we experience change, it feels scary and unstable. The mind likes to keep us safe. It will often bring up thoughts that fill us with fear. Not helpful! but the mind thinks it’s doing a good job at keeping us safe from harm. The mind likes to keep things familiar and predictable. The reality is most of us like to have some predictability in our life.

When a change in your life occurs, how do you manage it is the question.

Change is like walking down an unfamiliar pathway. We are met with an uncertainty of where it will lead, we may encounter detours, and we are not too sure of what we will encounter along the way. Deep down we hope the change will lead to something even better in our life. Yet, that uncertain voice inside of us will present all the “what-if scenarios”. We like to be prepared and have a plan in case something goes wrong.

While we are walking the pathway of change how do we navigate the array of feelings and thoughts that come up?

Here are three practices that can help you with navigating change in you life

1. Discover the resources you have within you

We all go through many phases of change within our lifetime. Reminding ourselves that we have been through change before. Think for a moment about who you are today. All the changing versions of yourself, you have experienced over your lifetime.

A great way to recognise what changes you have been through is to look back and think about all the changes you have gone through .

Take out a piece of paper find a quiet place and allow 15 minutes to create your change list.

Write down a list of all the changes you can think of that you have gone through up until today.

From the list look at the item think about either the lessons or the resources, you have gained from that change. There will be a mixture of positive change and change that may have difficult for you. Even from change that was difficult, some of the great’s lessons emerge. It can feel tough when you are going through change. But once you’re on the other side you have learned and grown from the experience.

That’s why this practice is so powerful. It reminds us that even in difficult circumstances. We raise to the challenge and get through the change. We have the resources within us we have been through change before and we survived.

2. Opening up the change.

The more we resist change the more difficult we make it for ourselves. While we know this on a conscious leave, we still seem to love to resist change. We want to stay in our comfort zone where it is familiar and safe. But change is enviable. Everything changes no matter how much we want to keep it the same. Life is constantly evolving, let us make it easier on ourselves by opening up to change. Being open to change allows us the grace to be present and to feel what is coming up.

Sit with the feeling and allowing the feeling to be there. It may feel uncomfortable. But have you noticed the more you try and resist the more uncomfortable the feeling becomes? Try allowing the feeling to be there. Bring your attention to the feeling and breath into it. Then allow yourself to open up to the feeling, without pushing it away, allow any feeling to be there as it is. Without pushing or fighting. Continue to observe any sensations you feel. If the feeling changes that is ok. If it doesn’t change that is ok also. The goal here is not to get rid of the feeling. The aim is to allow the feeling to be there.

You may be asking what the point of this exercise is if you feel uncomfortable. This exercise is about showing you that uncomfortable feelings can arise within you. But, the more you push and try to get rid of them, the more uncomfortable and challenged your feelings. Through this struggle with feeling, you make the change more painful for yourself. By allowing the feelings to be there and being with it. You eventually drop the struggles with the feeling. You open up to and make room for the feeling. You’re making life easier for yourself. By allowing yourself to be open and flow with the change without resistance.

3. Show yourself compassion

One of the most important practices, when change happens, is to show compassion. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Take care of yourself. A simple way to show yourself compassion during times of change. Is to use compassionate hands practice.  Take your right hand and place it over your heart. Place your left hand on the upper part of your stomach. Imagine your hands are filled with loving compassionate energy. As you hold yourself with these compassionate hands. Allow yourself to take some slow deep breaths. You may want to repeat to yourself “ I am okay”

This practice can be used anytime you need to show yourself love and compassion, during challenging times.  (I have recorded a guided practice for this here 

Change within our lives is enviable. Things will change around us and within us no matter how much we want to hold onto the way things are. As you walk the pathway of change remind yourself. You have resources within you, you have been through change before. Resisting change makes, it is more difficult to allow yourself to open up to the feeling. The most important thing to remember is when you experiencing change, hold yourself with love and compassion

If you need more support with the change you are experiencing in your life please please get in touch with me or have a look at my work with me page. I would love to support you during this time.

 

 

 

Lost in the busyness of your life.

Lost in the busyness of your life.

I was recently at the checkout at my local supermarket the other day. I noticed the checkout assistance asking each customer how are you? do you have a busy day today? Every person’s response was “yes I’m so busy”. I thought to myself how funny is it that we naturally assume that someone is busy. The checkout assistant had already pre-empted the answer by asking do you have a busy day.   Then I reflected have you noticed when you ask someone “how are you”?  the most common response you get is “I’m busy”. This sparked my curiosity.  How did we get to a point where we are busy all the time! Our schedules are full, our stress leaves are through the roof, there no time for relaxation.

Do you feel lost in the busyness of your life?

Always striving to move from one thing to the next. No time to just be, take time out and relax. Do you ever ask yourself how did life get so chaotic?   Stop for a moment and tune into yourself. Notice your mind is racing, constantly thinking. How about your body how does it feel? Is it running on adrenaline all the time because you’re always on the go and no longer know how to relax? In your busyness have you forgotten how to truly enjoy life. Have you forgotten to celebrate the moment because you so caught up in being busy?

In your busy life, what are you achieving?

Yes, we are busy filling our schedule with lots of stuff and things to do. Is that full schedule bringing you joy or are you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and like there is never enough time in the day? Do you feel like you are the mouse on the wheel going round and round but getting nowhere?  Is this the way you want your life to be? ask yourself is my busy life helping me to achieve the life I want. Can you make room to let go of some of that busyness and enjoy life a little more?

Now comes the interesting part, Are you ready let go of being so busy all the time!!! Ask yourself “Do I want to let go of my busyness? If the answer is yes, here are a few tips for you. The fun part is it ’s going require a different way of thinking. If you’re up for the challenge.

The challenge is you going to have to think about yourself.  Yes, that right it’s all about you!!!  I know you’re probably saying oh how selfish that would be of me. Then your mind will probably run of numerous reason why you can’t put yourself first and all the things you have to do.

And now you’re getting yourself caught up in the busy trap again.  Take a moment and breath. Give yourself permission to let go of busy.

Let’s get started with these tips:

  1. Set Boundaries.

I know not an easy thing to do, especially if you’re the type of person who does not want to let anyone down.  By trying to please everyone has that got you in a state of over-committing to make others happy. It requires strength to set boundaries sometimes.  A lot of our busyness we create ourselves because of we too afraid to say no and set some boundaries. When setting boundaries, it’s important to become clear about what you’re willing to give attention and time to. This may mean you disappoint some people. But if you want to let go of that busyness then it going to require that you let somethings go from that full schedule. Look at your schedule is their thing on it that you can let go of. Are you overcommitting yourself? Are you saying yes to thing just to please others and make them happy. Remember your happiness is just as important and if you committing to something that does not bring you joy then you’re doing yourself a disservice.  Take some time to reflect on your schedule and how you are spending your time. Can you take some of those not so important things out of that schedule to create more time for yourself?

  1. Ask for help.

Another challenge for some of us especially those superwomen and men who feel they can do it all. It can be difficult to ask for help and also to accept help. How interesting that we all become busier and we find it hard to accept help from others.  If someone offers you help, see it as a gift accept it graciously. There is nothing more satisfying than being of services to another human being and helping someone who needs help. Now the challenging part, using your voice to ask for help.  Do you struggle with this? I know I do. My challenge to you is to think about what are some things you could ask for more help with? Can you delegate a task to others in the household to help you out? It’s funny how we humans have this thinking that we have to do it all. We adding to our busyness. So start speaking up and asking for the help when you need it.

3..Carve out time to meet your needs.

Remember I said it was about putting yourself first.   Your mind may respond with the excuse “I don’t have time. Give your self-permission to stop and ask what do I need? Listen for the answer. Once you have the answer create time and a plan to follow through and give yourself what you need.   Creating the space to meet your own needs is an important part of letting go of the business. I bet you busy meeting everyone else need that you put yourself last. Well, it time to put yourself first.  A simple way to start nourishing yourself is to take some time out of a busy life without feeling guilty about it. Start carving out time to do something special for yourself. Give your mind and body time to rest and rejuvenate. You deserve

4. Be in the moment

Stop and enjoy being in the moment. As I mentioned above how often do you move from one this to the next?  Slow down and be in the moment. Look around you and appreciate what you have. Notice your surrounding really stop and take it all in.  Instead of quickly moving on to the next thing, take time to enjoy your achievement. Celebrate how amazing you are. We get limited time to enjoy our life and once you’re caught up in the business it can start to feel like life is speeding by so quickly. Give yourself time to be in joy, let go a little more, stop and saver the moment

5. Stop feeling guilty about not being busy

This is the most important tip let go of feeling guilty about not being busy. Ask yourself did you notice as you read through points above the feeling of guilt slowly creep in. That little voice in your head saying “oh I couldn’t possibly do that for myself”.  “I’m too busy to fit that in”. Your mind will try and create all sort of reason why you can’t do this for yourself and all the things you could be doing instead.

Give you self-permission to get out of the busyness trap, let go and enjoy life more. Buck the static quote make your own rules and when someone asks you how are you? You can say” I’m fantastic because I’m too busy any more”.

Leave a comment below and let me know what you have done to let go of busyness in your life. I would love to hear from you.

If you have family members, friends, or colleagues that could use some support with their busy life, please share this post using the link at the sidebar.

I hope this helped to create more  Harmony in your Life!

 

 

 

 

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