by tanyafrancois | Sep 27, 2018 | Mindfulness
We recently made the transition into the new season. If you in the southern hemisphere, springtime has arrived. A time for letting go of the old and make way for the new. With the change in the season it brings about a powerful new energy, things are opening and renewing. The trees are regenerating full of green leaves, the flowers start to bloom and the birds are singing once again. Spring allows us to reawaken from the cool winter. We can start to feel a shift in energy and things are being stirred up. Our energy starts to rejuvenate, the mind starts to reawaken to the beauty around us, and our body feels the need to move. The energy of spring allows us to start opening up to new possibilities.
As we start to think about the new it can bring up that voice in our head of self-doubt. We allow that persuasive voice in our head to talk us out of trying something new. We come up with all sorts of reasons why we shouldn’t try something different.
• Comparing ourselves to others,
• We worry about what others will think is we try something new.
• We double our decision and if we are doing the right thing by trying something new.
• Or if we are good enough to even try.
The list goes on and on….
We feel defeated before we even begin.
Most of us have experienced self-doubt when wanting to make a move to something new. Often we allow the voice of self-doubt to hold us back, take over and stop us in our tracks.
Once that voice of self-doubt takes hold, we take a step back from trying something new. We retreat back into the safety of our comfort zone. We allow self-doubt to win and we remain stuck in our old ways.
I understand that overcoming self-doubt when starting something new can be confronting. The butterfly in the stomach and fear takes hold. It can feel easier and safer to stay with what is familiar and comfortable. But if we stay with what is comfortable we become stuck and dormant. We don’t regenerate and grow to our full potential. In spring we have the chance to open up, just like everything around us. Regenerate and embrace the new there are so many exciting possibilities that lay before us.
Once we feel ready to move forward to something new then we need to step up and overcome our self-doubt. Here are some steps to get you started.
What do you want?
The first thing we need to do is to be clear about what new experience we want and why. Do you want a new job, start a new business, relationship, new hobby or travel somewhere new? It’s important to be clear about what we want and why. Once we are clear about what new experience we want and why then we can use that as motivation to overcome that voice of self-doubt. Write down clearly what new experience you want and why you what that new experience.
Listen to the words of self-doubt.
The next thing to focus on is to start listening to the words that we say to ourselves. It can be easy to let the voice of self-doubt start planting the seeds of all the reasons why we can’t start something new. Then before we know it we retreated back and did not take the steps toward what we wanted. We need to start listening to what that voice is saying. What does your self-doubt say to you? Listen and note the words you say to yourself.
To overcome self-doubt, we need to be aware of how self-doubt is holding us back. Ask yourself have you been holding yourself back?
Is your self-doubt stopping you from trying something new? Once we have a clear picture of what we want and become more aware of what the voice of self-doubt is saying. We are able to clearly see how our self-doubt is holding us back from all the new possibilities.
How does it feel?
Now that we are more aware we can start exploring how it would feel to try something new. To know if something new is right we can use our body as a guide. When you think about the new do you feel expansive or restrictive? Make sure that before doing this exercise you have pushed aside the voice of self-doubt. Then focus on the new possibility. Became aware of your body and the feeling you get when you think about the new. If you feel expansive your body is telling you it’s right for you.
If we get the feeling that the new is something we are ready to embrace, we can start focusing our minds on how the new experience will improve our lives. Focusing on the improvement the new will bring it helps quieten the voice of self-doubt. Once we start to quieten self-doubt we start building momentum towards embracing the new.
Now we have a clear indication of the new experience we want, and why we want it. We have quietened the voice of self-double by reassuring it. We are now feeling more open to the new possibilities, and ready to embrace it.
Embrace the new.
It’s now time to start thinking about one step we can take towards the new experience we want. List down one step you can take to move towards something new you want to experience. Then take that step toward what you want.
I have personally found one of the best ways to overcome self-double is to just start taking small action steps towards the new. By starting and taking action. I’m moving towards what I want.
Once we start to take action steps towards what we want the self-doubt slowly disappears.
Then we look behind and realize how far we have come, by taking that one step towards that new experience we want to try.
So start that thing you have been dreaming about. Don’t let your self-doubt hold you back. Allow spring to remind you of the possibilities of the new and let go of the old. Be ready to embrace all the new and exciting experiences that are coming your way.
I would love to hear in the comment what new exciting thing you have started
If you have family members, friends, or colleagues that could use some support with their self-doubt, please share this post.
I hope this helped with creating more Harmony in your Life
by tanyafrancois | Aug 21, 2018 | Mindfulness
I was recently at the checkout at my local supermarket the other day. I noticed the checkout assistant asking each customer how are you. do you have a busy day today? Every person’s response was “yes I’m so busy”. I thought to myself how funny is it that we naturally assume that someone is busy? The checkout assistant had already pre-empted the answer by asking do you have a busy day. Then I reflected have you noticed when you ask someone “how are you”? the most common response you get is “I’m busy”. This sparked my curiosity. How did we get to a point where we are busy all the time? Our schedules are full, our stress leaves are through the roof, and there is no time for relaxation.
Do you feel lost in the busyness of your life?
Always striving to move from one thing to the next. No time to just be, take time out and relax. Do you ever ask yourself how did life get so chaotic? Stop for a moment and tune into yourself. Notice your mind is racing, constantly thinking. How about your body how does it feel? Is it running on adrenaline all the time because you’re always on the go and no longer know how to relax? In your busyness have you forgotten how to enjoy life truly? Have you forgotten to celebrate the moment because you are so caught up in being busy?
In your busy life, what are you achieving?
Yes, we are busy filling our schedule with lots of stuff and things to do. Is that full schedule bringing you joy or are you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and like there is never enough time in the day? Do you feel like you are the mouse on the wheel going round and round but getting nowhere? Is this the way you want your life to be? ask yourself if my busy life helping me to achieve the life I want. Can you make room to let go of some of that busyness and enjoy life a little more?
Now comes the interesting part, Are you ready to let go of being so busy all the time!!! Ask yourself “Do I want to let go of my busyness? If the answer is yes, here are a few tips for you. The fun part is it’s going require a different way of thinking. If you’re up for the challenge.
The challenge is you going to have to think about yourself. Yes, that’s right it’s all about you!!! I know you’re probably saying oh how selfish that would be of me. Then your mind will probably run of numerous reasons why you can’t put yourself first and all the things you have to do.
And now you’re getting yourself caught up in the busy trap again. Take a moment and breath. Give yourself permission to let go of busyness.
Let’s get started with these tips:
- Set Boundaries.
I know not an easy thing to do, especially if you’re the type of person who does not want to let anyone down. By trying to please everyone has got you in a state of over-committing to make others happy. It requires strength to set boundaries sometimes. A lot of our busyness we create ourselves because we are too afraid to say no and set some boundaries. When setting boundaries, it’s important to clarify what you’re willing to give attention and time to. This may mean you disappoint some people. But if you want to let go of that busyness then it going to require that you let some things go from that full schedule. Look at your schedule is a thing on it that you can let go of. Are you overcommitting yourself? Are you saying yes to things just to please others and make them happy? Remember your happiness is just as important and if you commit to something that does not bring you joy then you’re doing yourself a disservice. Take some time to reflect on your schedule and how you are spending your time. Can you take some of those not-so-important things out of that schedule to create more time for yourself?
- Ask for help.
Another challenge for some of us especially those superwomen and men who feel they can do it all. It can be difficult to ask for help and also to accept help. How interesting that we all become busier and we find it hard to accept help from others. If someone offers you help, see it as a gift and accept it graciously. There is nothing more satisfying than being of service to another human being and helping someone who needs help. Now the challenging part, using your voice to ask for help. Do you struggle with this? I know I do. My challenge to you is to think about what are some things you could ask for more help with. Can you delegate a task to others in the household to help you out? It’s funny how we humans have this thinking that we have to do it all. We adding to our busyness. So start speaking up and asking for help when you need it.
3..Carve out time to meet your needs.
Remember I said it was about putting yourself first? Your mind may respond with the excuse “I don’t have time. Give yourself self-permission to stop and ask what you need. Listen for the answer. Once you have the answer create time and a plan to follow through and give yourself what you need. Creating the space to meet your own needs is an important part of letting go of the business. I bet you are busy meeting everyone else needs that you put yourself last. Well, it is time to put yourself first. A simple way to start nourishing yourself is to take some time out of a busy life without feeling guilty about it. Start carving out time to do something special for yourself. Give your mind and body time to rest and rejuvenate. You deserve
4. Be in the moment
Stop and enjoy being in the moment. As I mentioned above how often do you move from one this to the next? Slow down and be in the moment. Look around you and appreciate what you have. Notice your surrounding really stop and take it all in. Instead of quickly moving on to the next thing, take time to enjoy your achievement. Celebrate how amazing you are. We get limited time to enjoy our life and once you’re caught up in the business it can start to feel like life is speeding by so quickly. Give yourself time to be in joy, let go a little more, stop and enjoy the moment
5. Stop feeling guilty about not being busy
This is the most important tip let go of feeling guilty about not being busy. Ask yourself did you notice as you read through the points above the feeling of guilt slowly creep in. That little voice in your head saying “oh I couldn’t possibly do that for myself”. “I’m too busy to fit that in”. Your mind will try and create all sorts of reasons why you can’t do this for yourself and all the things you could be doing instead.
Give yourself self-permission to get out of the busyness trap, let go and enjoy life more. Buck the static quote make your own rules and when someone asks you how are you? You can say” I’m fantastic because I’m too busy anymore”.
Leave a comment below and let me know what you have done to let go of busyness in your life. I would love to hear from you.
If you have family members, friends, or colleagues that could use some support with their busy life, please share this post using the link in the sidebar.
I hope this helped to create more Harmony in your Life!
by tanyafrancois | Jul 18, 2018 | Mindfulness
The Season Of Letting Go
In the southern hemisphere, we have made the transition into cooler weather. The morning air has become crisp and cool. The tree’s branches are bare of their leaves, almost a symbol of bearing their soul. The trees have let go of all their leaves and have allowed their branches to be exposed. They have let go of what they no longer need. Take a moment to look at the trees around you, they have let go of what they no longer need for the winter months. This transition of the tree can serve as a powerful lesson if you’re willing to see. Ask yourself: Are ready to let go of what you no longer need?
I know sometimes the process of letting go can seem scary and even painful at times. However, when we look at the trees for guidance it’s a natural process of change. There no resistance, or holding on. The tree just lets ‘s go and goes with the change.
If you are brave enough to face what is no longer serving you and let it go. You make room for the new expanded version of yourself. Look to the trees as it sheds it leaves baring itself for the winter months. Then making room for the new, that it knows will come in the spring. Just like the trees letting go of their leaves, are you ready to start letting go and making room for the new? As you reflect on the natural cycle of nature, it’s a reflection of the cycle of life. Once we let go of the old we make room for the new.
If you ready to start letting go and preparing yourself for the season of change, start with this simple practice of letting go. Be like the tree it does not shed its leaves all at once it takes it time gently shedding itself over time. Be kind to yourself just take it one step at a time.
A Practice For Letting Go.
1.Preparation for this practice.
Take out your journal or a clean sheet of paper. Get your favorite pen to write with.
2.Centre yourself
Take a deep breath in through your nose and let it out slowly through your mouth.
Take another deep breath in and out through your month making an “ahh” sound.
Take one last deep breath in and let it out through your mouth with an “ahh sound
3. Focusing on Letting go
Ask yourself, What do I need to let go off?
Try not to edit or overthink what comes up. Write down the first thing that comes to mind. This is usually the thing you need to hear and focus on the most.
4.Your answer
Once you have your answer to what you need to focus on:
Ask yourself I’m I ready to let go of this now?
It can be challenging to let go. Your mind may come up with reasons or excuses why you should not let go of this thing. If this happens, ask yourself: What is the benefit of holding on to this?
Write down your answer.
5. Imagine letting go.
Gently close your eyes for a moment take some deep breaths.
When your ready imagine yourself letting go of the thing you wrote down. Visualize what it would be like to let go. Go into what it would feel like to let go.
Then open your eyes. Write down in as much detail as possible about how it would feel.
6.The feeling of letting go.
Lots of different feeling can come up when letting go. Acknowledge what you’re feeling.
Let yourself know that it safe to let go and that you’re making room for the new.
7.Time for action
Write down one step you can take today to start letting go of this thing that you no longer need. What small step can start with today?
8. Making room for the new
Repeat this practice in the winter months. It’s a time to retreat and let go. Be like the trees gently letting go of the old leaves day by day to make room for the new.
I hope this practice served you in letting go and creating more Harmony in your life.
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