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How to Transform Your Self Talk

How to Transform Your Self Talk

Transforming Self-Talk into Self-Kindness: A Journey of Empathy and Empowerment

In today’s fast-paced world, where we are constantly juggling responsibilities and facing challenges, it’s easy to forget the importance of being kind to ourselves. Self-kindness is a transformative practice that allows us to nurture our inner selves and cultivate a positive and empowering mindset.

Imagine instead of having a harsh critic, you had an inner ally—a voice that uplifts you, encourages you, and supports you through life’s ups and downs.

In this post we embark on a journey of self-discovery, exploring the profound impact of self-talk on our well-being and how we can transform it into self-kindness.

The Power of Self-Kindness

Self-kindness is not about indulging in selfish behaviour rather, it is an act of self-compassion and self-love that enriches our lives and allows us to navigate through difficulties with grace. When we treat ourselves with the same gentleness and understanding that we extend to our loved ones, we create a nurturing environment within ourselves, fostering growth and resilience.

Embracing Positive Self-Talk

The foundation of self-kindness lies in positive self-talk. Our inner dialogue shapes our perceptions, emotions, and actions, ultimately influencing our experiences. Instead of dwelling on self-criticism and doubt, we can practice positive self-talk by replacing negative thoughts with affirmations and words of encouragement.

For instance, when faced with a challenge, reframe thoughts like “I can’t do this” with “I am capable, and I am learning and growing from this experience.” By nurturing ourselves with empowering self-talk, we build self-confidence and open doors to new possibilities. It takes a little practice to reframe thoughts, but like anything the more you practice the easier it becomes.

Embracing Imperfection and Growth

It’s essential to recognize that perfection is an unrealistic standard that no one can achieve. Embracing our imperfections allows us to acknowledge our humanity and appreciate ourselves fully. Each mistake becomes an opportunity for growth and learning rather than a reason for self-criticism.

Instead of beating ourselves for not being perfect, we can adopt a growth mindset and view challenges as stepping stones towards personal development. With self-kindness, we celebrate our growth and achievements, no matter how small they may seem.

It’s essential to recognize that perfection is an unrealistic standard that no one can achieve. Embracing our imperfections allows us to acknowledge our humanity and appreciate ourselves fully. Each mistake becomes an opportunity for growth and learning rather than a reason for self-criticism.

 Instead of beating ourselves for not being perfect, we can adopt a growth mindset and view challenges as stepping stones towards personal development. With self-kindness, we celebrate our growth and achievements, no matter how small they may seem.

Self-kindness involves prioritizing self-care. Taking time for ourselves regularly is not selfish; it’s essential for our well-being. Engage in activities that bring joy, relaxation, and a sense of well-being. Whether it’s practising mindfulness, engaging in hobbies, or spending time with loved ones, self-care is a vital aspect of self-kindness.

Forgiveness and Compassion

As humans, we all make mistakes. Instead of holding onto past regrets and self-blame, practising self-forgiveness is an act of kindness towards ourselves. Just as we would forgive a loved one, we can offer ourselves the same compassion and understanding through forgiveness. Be kind to yourself and recognise you are doing the best you can.

Celebrating Achievements

It’s easy to downplay our successes and accomplishments, especially when comparing ourselves to others. However, self-kindness involves acknowledging and celebrating our achievements, no matter how small they may seem. By recognizing our efforts, we boost our self-esteem and motivation.

Setting Boundaries

Practising self-kindness also means setting healthy boundaries with others. Learning to say no when needed allows us to prioritize our well-being and avoid overwhelming ourselves with commitments. Boundaries protect our energy and mental health, allowing us to be more present and compassionate in our interactions.

The Practice of Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a powerful tool in cultivating self-kindness. By staying present in the moment and developing self-awareness, we become attuned to our thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness helps us respond to challenges with compassion and understanding, promoting a sense of calm and self-acceptance.

Embracing Empathy: The Role of Self-Talk in Empathy

As empaths, we possess a natural ability to understand and connect with others’ emotions. However, empathy starts from within. Cultivating self-empathy and self-compassion enables us to extend the same level of care and understanding to ourselves, enhancing our capacity for empathy towards others.

Becoming Aware of Self-Talk

Becoming aware of our self-talk is the first step in developing self-empathy. Notice if your inner dialogue is critical, harsh, or nurturing and supportive. Identifying negative patterns helps us understand the impact of our thoughts on our emotions and behaviors.

Being Your Own Best Friend

Imagine how you would comfort and support a dear friend going through a challenging time. Extend the same kindness and reassurance to yourself. Be your own best friend, offering words of encouragement and understanding.

Embracing Imperfections and Vulnerabilities

Being human means being imperfect and vulnerable. Embrace your imperfections with love and acceptance. Each perceived flaw is an opportunity for growth and learning. Embrace your uniqueness and treat yourself with kindness.

Celebrating Your Strengths

Identify your unique strengths and talents. Celebrate your accomplishments, recognizing your abilities and contributions. Acknowledging your strengths boosts self-esteem and reinforces self-compassion.

Practising Mindful Self-Compassion

In moments of challenge, practice mindful self-compassion. Engage in deep, mindful breathing and use positive affirmations to redirect negative thoughts. Treat yourself with gentleness and understanding.

Surrounding Yourself with Positivity

Surround yourself with uplifting and supportive influences. Connect with people who appreciate and celebrate your empathetic nature. Engage in activities that inspire and uplift you.

Cultivating Gratitude

Gratitude opens the heart to self-kindness. Take a moment each day to acknowledge the blessings in your life, including the gift of empathy. Gratitude fosters a positive mindset and deepens self-compassion.

The Practice of Self-Compassion Journaling

In your journal, express your thoughts and emotions honestly. Identify any self-critical or negative self-talk patterns. Reframe these thoughts with phrases of self-compassion, such as “I am doing the best I can,” “I forgive myself,” and “I am worthy of kindness and love.”

 

Daily Affirmations for Self-Compassion

Discover the self-compassion phrases that resonate with you the most. Write them down and read them aloud to yourself daily. Observe the positive impact they have on your emotions and self-perception.

Reframing Self-Talk for Empowerment

(Our self-talk has tremendous creative power, shaping our reality and experiences. By reframing our self-talk, we can pave the way for a life filled with growth, positivity, and self-kindness.

Identifying Negative Patterns

Become aware of negative self-talk patterns and the impact they have on your emotions. Challenge these thoughts with evidence to the contrary and break free from limiting beliefs.

Embracing Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Replace self-judgment with self-compassion and offer yourself the same care you would offer a loved one.

Practising Positive Affirmations

Create positive affirmations that align with your goals and aspirations. Repeat them daily to reinforce empowering self-talk and boost self-confidence.

 

Focusing on Growth and Learning

Adopt a growth mindset and see challenges as opportunities for learning and personal development. Embrace the idea that setbacks are not failures but stepping stones on your journey to success. By focusing on growth, you can maintain a positive outlook and remain resilient in the face of adversity.

Surrounding Yourself with Positivity

Surround yourself with positive influences and supportive individuals. Seek out like-minded people who appreciate and celebrate your empathetic nature. Engage in activities that bring joy, inspiration, and fulfillment into your life. The positive energy from your surroundings will reinforce your self-kindness and empathy.

Visualizing Success

Harness the power of visualization to see yourself succeeding and thriving. Close your eyes and vividly imagine achieving your goals. Visualizing success enhances your self-belief and motivation, empowering you to take positive steps towards your dreams.

Practising Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a powerful practice that cultivates self-kindness and empathy. Stay present in the moment, observing your thoughts without judgment. When negative self-talk arises, gently redirect your focus to positive aspects of yourself and your life. Mindfulness helps you become more aware of your emotions and reactions, leading to greater self-understanding and compassion.

A Note on Seeking Support

While practising self-kindness and transforming self-talk can be transformative, it’s essential to recognize that everyone’s journey is unique. If negative self-talk persists or if you find it challenging to cultivate self-compassion, consider seeking support from a therapist or counsellor. Professional guidance can help you work through deeper emotional issues and provide valuable tools for enhancing self-kindness and empathy.  (Find out more how how to work with me

Embracing Self-Kindness: A Journey of Empowerment

Embracing self-kindness is not a one-time effort but an ongoing journey of self-discovery and empowerment. By practicing positive self-talk, embracing imperfections, prioritizing self-care, and cultivating self-compassion, you can transform your inner dialogue and create a nurturing environment within yourself.

Self-kindness enables you to face challenges with grace, celebrate your achievements, and embrace personal growth. By treating yourself with gentleness and understanding, you lay the foundation for greater empathy towards others.

As you embark on this journey, remember that it’s okay to take small steps. Embrace self-compassion journaling as a tool to express your emotions and foster kindness towards yourself. Let daily affirmations become your guiding light, illuminating the path to self-empowerment and positive self-talk.

Reframing your self-talk is a powerful practice that empowers you to shape your reality and experiences. Challenge negative thoughts, embrace self-compassion, and practice positive affirmations to reinforce empowering self-talk.

 

Surround yourself with positivity and immerse yourself in uplifting influences. The people you surround yourself with can impact your journey towards self-kindness and empathy.

As you envision your success, remember that your dreams are within reach. Visualization harnesses the power of your mind to inspire action and bring your aspirations to life.

Finally, embrace mindfulness as a means to be present in the moment and cultivate self-awareness. Mindfulness opens the door to greater self-understanding, enabling you to respond to challenges with compassion and empathy.

If you’re ready to embark on a transformative journey towards self-kindness and greater empathy, remember that you are not alone. The path to self-empowerment is unique for each individual, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Let self-kindness and empathy be your guiding principles as you navigate through life’s ups and downs. Embrace the transformative power of positive self-talk, and watch as your inner light shines brighter than ever before.

Resources

 

10 Ways to Practices  Self Reflection

10 Ways to Practices Self Reflection

Self-reflection is an amazing tool for creating the best version of yourself.

It can also be confronting exercise to undertake.

Let’s be honest it’s challenging to go deep within and look with yourselves.

It to easier to distract yourselves and fill your days with, a long to-do list in an effort to avoid reflecting on yourself

Your attention is pulled in so many different directions by the outside world that self-reflection is not often at the top of your to-do list.

The reality is unless you make space and time to self-reflect it is not going to happen.

It feels easier and more comfortable to turn your attention outwards instead of inwards. Go within and looking deeply at yourselves is something most of us avoid.

The mind often distracts you and tries to create more things to do.

Are you ready to go on your own journey of self-reflection?

Self-reflecting is not necessarily an easy journey to face. However, I will promise you this. It is one of the most valuable journeys; you will undertake for your personal growth.

“The Journey into self-love as self-acceptance must begin with self-examination… until you take the journey of self-reflection it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life” (Iyanla Vanzant)

 

Self-reflection is the process of taking the time to go within and analyse your inner self on a deeper level.

Through these analyses, you are able to gain insight into who you are, what you value, and your thoughts, actions, desires and motivation.

Within the self-reflective process, you come to understand your true self. By looking inward, you take off the mask you wear for the outside world.  It allows you to connect with yourself and grow from this self-reflection experience.

Self-reflection is a powerful process and it will have a positive effect on your life.

Ten Practices for Self-Reflection

1. Journaling for self-reflection

Journaling is a beautiful way to deep self-reflection. It can be as simple as writing a daily self-reflection sentence about anything you want to reflect on. If you feel you want to go a little deeper. Then write a long journal entry about something good or bad that you experienced. Explore and reflect on the event, your thoughts feelings or emotions that are coming up for you. Try not to censor what you write, allow the words to flow. Then read over your journal entry. Reflect upon what you have written, you will be amazed by the insight you get from your writing.

There is no wrong or right way to journal. do what feels right for you and will help you to reflect inwards.

2. Question Yourself

Asking yourself the tough questions is a vital part of the self-reflective These questions can feel uncomfortable however, by asking these questions and answering honestly, you are able to hold a reflective mirror up to your lives and yourself.

Reflective questions:

Who do I want to be?

What do I stand for?

How I’m behaving?

What are my values?

What are my desires?

Is my life heading in the direction I want?

What motivates me?

What makes me happy?

These are big questions, but they allow you to go deep and truly reflect on who you are and what drives your behaviour.

3. Allow time for Stillness

Do you make time in your day for stillness?

As it only from being still and silent.  You are able to go within and deeply connect with yourselves and reflect. With stillness, you get to know the real you. These not hiding or distracting yourself. You take a deep inward journey and slowly peel away the lays. There is nowhere to hide in stillness. You are complete with yourself. Disconnected from the external world that disconnects your true self.

Reflect:

How can you create time for stillness in your day? It can be as simple as a 5-minute mindfulness practice e being still and present in the moment.

Or a beautiful meditation practice. That brings you into stillness.

(check out the resources below for free meditations)

Creating time to be still it allows the space to do the deep reflective work you need to connect, grow and learn more about yourself.

4. Get in touch with your feelings

Reflect on your feelings and get in touch with how you feel. This is deep work. For many of us, it is easier to push our feeling aside or tell ourselves that what we are feeling is not valid. Do not dismiss how you feel. You have the right to feel the way you feel and not to push your feelings aside.

By reflecting on feelings and understanding them. It gives insight into your emotional and mental well-being.

Try this practice:

Take a breath

Pause

Reflect:

Go within and ask how do I feel.

Why am I having these feelings?

How are these feelings affecting me?

If you need support with exploring your feeling, more. Enlist the help of a professional counsellor or coach. (work with me)

5. Reflect on the story

Reflect on the story you are telling yourself. The inner critic can be lode and mean.

By reflecting on the story and the words, you say to yourselves. It helps to develop inner awareness. Generally, the default story we tell ourselves is the I’m not good enough story.

Reflect:

Listen to what it is you say to yourself. Do you need to release the old story or harsh words you speak to yourself?

Stepping back and observing the story gives you the power to defuse the thought pattern. Develop a regular reflective practice of the stories and words you use. It will empower you to recognise when the story is no longer serving you and to replace it with a new and improved story.

 6. Care of Self

One of the best ways to care for yourself is to reflect on what your needs are and how you care for yourself

Reflect:

How do I currently care for myself?

Do I spend more time caring for others than I do for myself?

 

What do I need to feel cared for?

What do I need to feel my best?

Then from the answer to these questions create a care plan for yourself. A great way to put in place, your plan is to pick a time and day that you are committed to implementing care for yourself. I like to have time on Sundays. I call it my self-care Sunday!

 

     

    7. Self-compassion and kindness.

    Did you know that being kind to yourself has a great positive effect on your life? Think about it the way you treat yourself influences every aspect of your well-being. We are with ourselves 24/7 and we can say some unkind things to yourselves. Would you say to a friend the thing you say to yourself? The words we say to yourselves have meaning.
    Reflect: Do I treat myself with kindness and compassion?

    Do I need to be kinder to myself?

    Try this: saying something that creates a sense of kindness.

    Phrases such as “I am kind to myself” and “I am gentle with myself “. I treat myself with kindness.

    Place your hand on your heart and say I hold myself with kindness and compassion. Experiment and reflect on what feels good and brings up a feeling of self-compassion.

    8. Personal Growth

    Do you ever stop and look at how much you have grown? The lessons you have learned along your journey. By self-reflecting on your personal growth, it gives you a picture of where have you been and where are you going.

    I am sure along the way there have been mistakes and challenges. However, think about all that you have gained from these experiences.

    Reflect on: How much growth you have achieved

    Reflect on the personal growth that has taken place over the last 5 years. What have you done? what have you achieved?

    An important thing to look at is what you have learned from challenges or mistakes you have made.

    Growth can only come about when you reflect on where you once were to where you are today.

    9. Permission to Dream 

    Do you give yourself permission to dream?

    Dreams are important. They give your life purpose, direction, goals and meaning for your life.

    Reflect upon the dream you are holding. What life do you want to create in the future.? Having a dream to look forward to gives you a sense of hope, control and choice about your future.

    Don’t give up on your dreams. By giving up on your dream, you are giving up on yourself. Give your self-permission to dream and pursue the life you desire.

    Reflect:

    Do you have a dream? Do you think you are worthy of your dream?

    Are you ready to give yourself self-permission to pursue your dream?

    10. Mind-Body Connection 

    The connection between mind, body, emotions and spirit has been proven scientifically.

    We are more than our thoughts. There is an undeniable connection between mind, body, emotion, and spirit.  This connection makes us who we are.

    Reflect:

    How do I care and connect with:

    My mind?

    My Body?

    My emotions?

    My spirituality?

    Reflecting on the relationships, we have with the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual self. Allows us to nourish and connect with ourselves fully.

    You may want to choose one self-reflection practice and try each day over the next 10 days.

    The journey of self-reflection has so many benefits for our personal growth. Taking time for self-reflection can be difficult and challenging. It is confronting to step back and reflect on yourself. Yet, there are so many benefits of self-reflection. It allows you to connect with yourself, gain perspective, learn and grow.

    Embark on your self-reflective journey a create the best version of yourself.

     

    Quote Reflection is one of the most underused yet powerful tools to your success.

    Free Resources:

    Free Meditations Click here

    How to teach yourself to feel good enough Read More 

     

    What is self-reflection and why is it important Click here  

     

    How To Teach Yourself To Feel Good Enough

    How To Teach Yourself To Feel Good Enough

    Let’s begin with a question that may feel a bit uncomfortable, but it’s an important question to reflect on.

    What is the story you tell yourself over and over again?

    This can be a comforting question. If you really stop for a moment and listen and think about what you are saying to yourself.

    That voice in your mind what it’s telling you.

    The words you say to yourself have power. The reality is you are with yourselves 24/7, there is no hiding from what you say to yourself.

    The stories that are on repeat in your mind shape your life and the way you view yourself.

    Did you come up with an answer? What story do you tell yourself?

    My guess is this story has a theme to it. Did you know that there is a common theme to most stories we tell ourselves?

    Want to know what the story is?

    The I’m not good enough story.

    Does that sound familiar?

    The words that you are saying to yourself often have a theme of not being good enough.

    Did you know that this is the most common story most humans struggle with?

    They believe they are not good enough. We look for confirmation in the outside world about how we are not good enough. We tell ourselves this story over and over again.

    Now I could sit here and tell you something like: Believe in yourself and turn those words around to something positive and repeat to yourself that you are good enough. And you are good enough. But we all have something called our internal voice in our mind and our mind can be a tricky thing. The mind likes to protect us and thinks that it’s helpful. But sometimes the mind is unhelpful and can be downright mean.

     

    Saying  postive affiramtion that you don’t belive to  turn that negative self-talk around may  be helpful in the short term. But after a while, you start to fight against your mind and then you spiral back down to the same habit of repeating the… I’m not good enough story.

    Let me give you some practical advice for the ‘I’m not good enough struggles.

    Struggle 1: Question Your Efforts

    We all have those times when we struggle with questioning ourselves

    I’m I doing enough?

    I’m I good enough?

    Is what I’m doing enough?

    Is this good enough?

    The list goes on…

    Even as I write this blog post my mind is asking if this is really good enough. It is looking to pick apart all the way it is not enough.

    Your mind can be critical at times and you are so hard on yourselves.

    The I’m not good enough story can be loud and disheartening.

    Here is a practice to help when you find yourself criticizing your efforts.

     

    1. Think about some of the criticisms your mind tells you

     

    1. Pick one of the criticisms that you say to yourself a lot. (The one you have on repeat.)

     

    1. Now be present. Become aware of how it makes you feel when your mind gets caught up in criticizing you.

     

    1. Open up to the feelings and notice them. You may want to try some deep breathing.

     

    1. Then turn your focus on doing something that will make your life more meaningful. What is something that will add value to your life, that you can do right now and give your attention to?

    I know it can painful but by opening up and being present to the feeling but once you become aware of the feeling showing up, you can start turning your focus on more meaningful things. Rather than getting caught up in the “I’m not good enough story”.

     

    Struggle 2: Feeling You’re Not Doing Enough

    Do you ever feel completely overwhelmed with always trying to fit more on your to-do list?

    The more you try to do the more you question- “I’m I doing enough”?

    Maybe you thought you’d be further ahead in life than you are right now, or maybe you have a list in the back of your mind of things you “should” be doing.

    No matter what you do, it doesn’t seem to be enough.

    Let’s explore that feeling of not doing enough.

    Many of us judge ourselves for never doing enough. We ridicule our efforts as not being good enough. We have a long list of all the things we should be doing. Thinking if I just complete my do-to list, I will finally feel I’m good enough.

    I know this feeling because I use to let myself get stuck in the mindset of “I have to do more to be enough”. Maybe you can relate.

     

    Are you always think you have to do more to be enough?

    Maybe seeing other people’s successes might trigger this feeling of inadequacy.

    Do you set unrealistic expectations for yourself and think that nothing you do is ever good enough?

    Let’s turn this thinking around. Because the truth is no matter how hard you push yourself and create an endless to-do list. It not going to make you feel enough. Instead of trying to do it all, try celebrate yourself and the effort you are putting in to the things you are doing. 

    Here is a  practice help if you find yourself trying to do more and more to be enough.

    Answer these questions:

    What have I achieved that I never thought possible?

    How have I progressed and grown in the last year?

    How can I celebrate my effects?

    Take time to celebrate your progress, achievements and growth. Turn that self-judgement into a celebration of doing and being enough in this moment. Often we never stop to celebrate our effects and how far we have come. Our mind is ready to jump to the next thing. Again never feel fulfilled with the success we already achieved. So instead of adding more to your to-do list celebrate all that you are right now.

    Now that you celebrate yourself even if it was just a little bit. What if the next thing I asked you was- Do you know you are enough as you are?

    Now stop for a moment before you read on. When you read the above statement what is your first thought? Just observe your thoughts for a moment.

    Was your first thought, yes I’m enough.

    Or did you start to question I am, I enough as I am? Or did you say no I’m not enough

    The truth is you are enough exactly as you are. Our first response is often to think about all the ways we think we are not enough.

    Let me tell you right at this moment you are all that you are meant to be.

    And being enough is not about being perfect or reaching some ideal Enough is being all that you are right now.

    The mess parts of you

    The broken parts of you

    The imperfect parts of you

    The changing and growing parts of you

    The beautiful parts

    The unique parts of you

    Despite all this, You’re already enough.

    Struggle 3 Recognising you are enough as you are

    Who gets to decide what being enough is?

    Have you stopped to think about, What is enough anyway? Are you measuring your enoughness with an unrealistic image of perfection?

    I will let you in on a little secret – You get to decide what enough is!!!

    Nobody else gets to decide what enough means to you. You can only decide for yourself.

    It can be a constant internal battle to feel enough. With judge yourselves in so many ways as not being enough.

    That voice in your head tells you: I’m not pretty, I’m not skinny, I’m smart, I’m not confident enough. The list goes on and on…..

    But the reality is you hold all the power you get to decide what being enough is for yourself. No one outside of you can decide that for you. You are the only one that can decide what enough looks and feels like for you. You have a choice you can continue to strive for some unrealistic image of being good enough. Or you can get crystal clear in your own mind about what your version of being enough is.

     

    Journal Practice for defining being enough

    In your journal answer these questions to get clear about what enough means to you.

    What does being enough feel like?

    What does being enough look like?

    Define what being enough means to you?

    Being enough is a working progress. Your mind will look for ways to tell you are not enough. Unfortunately, this is what the mind does. But you know have something very powerful and that’s awareness. The first step to change is being aware of the thoughts and feelings that are coming up for you. Be aware of what enough means to you. Shut off the loud voice of the outside world.

    “You are enough exactly as you are”

    Celebrate yourself instead of judging yourself. Because we all have those messy broken and imperfect parts to us. And you know what that’s ok because you’re working a progress and every day you growing learning and doing the best you can. And that is enough.

    Resources

    Recommended  book: Cassie Mendoza- Jones “You Are Enough”  Click Here

    Free Meditation You Are Enough Guided Meditation Click Here

    Learn more about how Hypnotherapy can support you with your self-esteem Click here 

     

    How to set goals and achieve them.

    How to set goals and achieve them.

    Welcome to 2023. A year filled with so many new possibilities. 

    Let’s talk about goal setting.  

    I want to share with you my best tips for setting goals and achieving them.

    How many times have you started a new year full of enthusiasm and motivation about achieving your new goals?

    You make a plan and feel so excited about achieving that long-awaited goal. You feel motivated and ready for success. You promise yourself this time you’re going to stick with your plan and achieve that goal.

    Then slowly over time, you start to lose your momentum and you find yourself struggling to stay on track.

     All too often, that initial burst of motivation disappears and you find you’re self-feeling stuck and disappointed in yourself.

    Not this year!

    This year going to be different. 

    Do you know why? 

    I’m going to share with you how to set a goal and keep yourself on track to achieving it.

    Set yourself up for success.

    Start with picking one goal (yes that’s right only one.) Do you know why? It’s easier to focus on one thing at a time. If you have too many goals then you already setting yourself up for failure. I like to say: “keep it simple one step at a time”. 

    Your goal needs to be specific: Fuzzy goals are more difficult to achieve than specific ones.

     When setting a goal, be as specific as possible. For example, instead of setting a goal to “lose weight,” set a goal to lose 10kg by May 2023. 

    Write your goal down somewhere you can see it every day. This will help you to remember it and keep your mind focused on the goal.

    Set a timeline for your goal.

    Giving yourself an exact time of when you what to achieve this goal by. This will help you stay on track and progress towards your goal. 

    Get organised and make a plan of action. You want to break your goals down into small steps. This will help you to feel you achieving mini goals and moving towards your achieving your big goal.

    An example:

    Big Goal: To lose 10kg by May 2023. 

    Mini goal: I will go for a walk for 30 minutes each day this week.  

    How to set an achievable Goal

    Now let’s make that goal of yours SMART

    What are SMART goals?

    S.M.A.R.T. is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. SMART goals are specific goals that are achievable, realistic, and have a set timeframe for completion.

    Specific – The goal should be clear and specific, this helps to keep you focused on your specific outcome. The more specific the goal, the better.

    Measurable – The goal should be something that you can track and measure your progress. This way, you’ll know how your progress towards achieving your goal.

    Achievable – The goal should be achievable. If the goal is too ambitious, you’re likely to get discouraged and give up.

    Realistic – The goal should be realistic and something that you can achieve. If the goal is unrealistic, you’ll have a difficult time achieving it.

    Timely – The goal should have a set timeframe for completion.

    For example, let’s say you want to lose weight. 

    A SMART goal would be to lose 10kg by May 2023. This goal is specific (lose 10 kg), and it’s measurable (you can track your progress by weighing yourself on the scales). It is an achievable goal (it’s possible to lose 10kg in five months. It’s realistic (It’s possible to lose one to two kg per week), and has a set timeframe (May 2023 ).

    It’s your tune now. Look at your goal and now turn it into a SMART goal. Ask yourself the following questions.

    Is my goal specific?

    Is my goal measurable, can I track my progress?

    Is my goal realistic for me?

    Is my goal something I can achieve?

    What is my time frame for achieving my goal?

    How to stay motivated when you don’t feel motivated.

    Motivation is a funny thing it comes and goes. The fact is when you’ve set a new goal your motivation is at its peak, and then it is very normal for motivation to slowly decline. The fact is, you’re not always going to feel motivated. 

    And that’s ok!

    Motivation is not the key to achieving your goal. Do you know what is? Taking action even when you do don feel like it. 

    When you find yourself low in motivation then use this as inspiration to keep going even ….if you don’t feel like it!!

    Here are a few ways to keep yourself self-moving forward even if you’re not feeling motivated. 

    Know your WHY- It’s important to remember why you set the goal in the first place. What was it that inspired you to want to achieve this goal?  

    Write your reason why and put it somewhere you can see it. This will be your inspiration and a reminder of why you want to achieve this goal. 

    Stay focused on breaking your goal down into mini-goals (Smaller more manageable steps) Rather than thinking about the big goal that can seem out of reach and so far away Focus on taking one small step at a time. This will make your goal seem less daunting and more achievable.

     

    Celebrate your wins.

    How often do you celebrate your small wins? When making progress towards your goals don’t forget to celebrate that small step you have taken towards your goal.

      

    Goals setting is an amazing tool if it is done right. Use the guide to set yourself up for success in 2023. The new year is an exciting time for setting your goal. It feels like a blank canvas and anything is possible. Set your goal, do the work to plan out your steps and track your progress. 

    Remind yourself that motivation is not key to achieving your goal in 2023, all you need to do is to keep moving forward towards your goal, even on the days, you don’t feel like it. Keep reminding yourself why this goal is important to you and what it will be like when you are successful in achieving your goal. 

    Resources

    Free Hypnotherapy to manifest your goals. Listen here

    Learn more about SMART goals Here

    Guide to pursuing your passion Read More

    How To Overcome Self Doubt

    How To Overcome Self Doubt

    Is Your Self Doubt Holding You Back? 

    Self-doubt is a persistent little bugger. The voice in your head that likes to show up at the most inconvenient time. You start to contemplate a change or do something new. Then the voice of self-double decides to make an appearance. You are creating an internal conflict. You feel uncertain and question yourself. You allow that voice of self-doubt to hold you back and keep you stuck in what is familiar and safe.

    Can you relate?

    That persuasive voice of self-doubt talks you out of going for your dreams or, making a change. Self-doubt love to come up with all sorts of reasons why you shouldn’t try something different.

     

    You start to :

    • Comparing yourselves to others,
    • Worry about what others will think if you try something new.
    • You question if you are doing the right thing by trying something new.
    • You ask yourself, am I good enough to even try?

    The list of negativity goes on and on….

     

     

    Self-doubt makes you feel stuck and debilitates you from making a change.

    The battle between you and self-doubt is real.

    Most of us have experienced self-doubt when wanting to move to something new. Often, we allow the voice of self-doubt to hold us back. It takes over our thoughts and stops us in our tracks from making change.

    Once that voice of self-doubt takes hold. It’s not uncommon to take a step back, stand still and prevent yourself from moving forward. You retreat into your comfort zone. Where self-doubt finally starts to silence the negativity in your mind. You allowed self-doubt to win and you remain stuck in your old ways.

    Overcoming self-doubt is confronting and uncomfortable. The butterfly in the stomach and fear takes hold. It feels easier and safer to stay with what is familiar and comfortable. But if you stay with what is comfortable you become stuck and dormant. You don’t grow to your full potential. Facing self-doubt allows you to be open to new experiences, pursue your dreams and live life to the fullest.

    You make the decision that you are ready to move forward and embrace something new. The time has come to step up and overcome your self-doubt.

    Get to know your self-doubt on a deeper level.

    I know this may be thinking what! I want to get rid of my self-doubt not get to know it.

    But, getting to know self-doubt will support you in overcoming your self-doubt.

    The first step of getting to know yourself doubt is to listen to the words of self-doubt.

    Start paying attention to the words that you say to yourselves. It can be easy to let the voice of self-doubt start planting the seeds of all the reasons why we can’t start something new. Then before you know self-doubt had done its job and stop you from moving forward. You retreat and don’t take the steps toward what we wanted. You need to start listening to what that voice is saying. What does your self-doubt say to you? Listen and note the words you say to yourself.

    To overcome self-doubt, you need to be aware of how self-doubt is holding us back. Ask yourself how you hold yourself back because of your self-doubt

    Is your self-doubt stopping you from trying something new?

    Once you become more aware of what the voice of self-doubt is saying. You can see how your self-doubt is holding you back from all the new possibilities that are waiting for you.

     

    Connect with the feeling

    The next step is to connect with the feel.

    Now that you are more aware, you can start exploring how it would feel to try something new. To know if something new is right we can use our body as a guide. When you think about the new experience, does it feel expansive or restrictive in the body? Became aware of your body and the feeling you get when you think about the new. If you feel expansive, your body is telling you it’s right for you.

    Are you ready to start embracing something new?

    Then this is how you can prevent your self-doubt from taking over. Focuses your mind on how this new experience will improve your life. Feel in your body. How will it feel to bring this experience into your life? Focusing on the improvement, the new will bring into your life. Seeing it feeling it helps quieten and calm the voice of self-doubt. Once you start to quieten self-doubt. You start building momentum towards making room for something new

    Now we have a clear indication of the new experience, you want, and why you want it. You have quietened the voice of self-double by reassuring it. You are now feeling more open to new possibilities, and ready to embrace them.

    Get clear about your why

    What do you want and why do you want it?

    You need to be clear about what new experience you want and why. Do you want a new job, start a new business, relationship, new hobby, or travel somewhere new? It’s important to be clear about what you want and why. Once you are clear about what new experience you want and why. You now have a powerful tool for overcoming that voice of self-doubt. Inspiration is not enough to keep you going when self-doubt takes over and feel like giving up. You must have a way to motivate you to push past the obstacles that self-doubt will bring up. Strong knowledge of why you want this new experience. Will help you keep your mind focused even when you feel like you are caught in the negative cycle of self-doubt.

    Your why is the reason you will be determined to keep going because you are clear about what you what and why you want it.

     Write down you’re why statement and have it somewhere where you can see it and read it often. You know that voice of self-doubt decides to show up you have something more powerful you why.

    Embrace the new and your self-doubt

    It’s now time to start thinking about one step you can take towards the new experience you want. List down one step you can take to move towards something new you want to experience. Then take that step toward what you want.

    I have personally found one of the best ways to overcome self-double, is to start taking small action steps towards the new experience I want to create. By starting and taking action. I’m moving towards what I want.

    Once you start to take action steps towards what you want. The self-doubt slowly disappears.

    Then you look back and realise how far we have come. By taking that one step towards that new experience, you wanted.

    Start that thing you have been dreaming about, and don’t let your self-doubt hold you back. Allow yourself to be open to the possibilities of the new and let go of the old. Be ready to embrace all the new and exciting experiences that are coming your way.

    Self-doubt can only hold you back if you allow it to. Know what you want, and why you want it.  See it, feel and believe it is possible for you. Even if self-doubt shows up you can overcome it by taking one step at a time towards your dreams.

    Start taking those steps today.

     

     

     

    Resources:

    Free Meditation to help you your self-doubt Click here

    How to Make your needs a priority Read More 

    How To Make Your Needs a Priority

    How To Make Your Needs a Priority

    Do you put others needs before your own needs?

    Why do you feel the need to put yourselves last? 

    Is it because you think it is selfish to put your needs first?

    Often as children, we are told to think of others. We were encouraged to allow others to go before us and to think about their needs. When I was a child, this was considered good manners. Now I’m not suggesting that showing others kindness and empathy to another person is a negative thing. I want to explore how we carry these patterns into our adult life and put the needs of others first.

    Why  don’t we  show ourselves the same kindness and empathy we are willing to show others? We make other people’s needs more important than our own needs.

    On the odd occasion, you try and put your needs first what is your reaction?

    Do you consider yourself selfish for even daring to think about yourself?

    We push our own needs aside thinking by putting others first will make us a good person.

    Does it actually make you feel good putting everyone else’s needs above your own?

    By putting yourself last you are actually not able to effectively care for others.

    On an aeroplane, the safety message says to put on your own oxygen mask before you try to help someone else.

    This same principle could be applied to life. If you don’t help yourself and put your needs first, then what happens?  It feels like life energy is being drained out of you. You use all your energy to think and care about others and you end up neglecting your own needs.

    Often you have pushed your own needs aside for so long it’s difficult to recognize what your needs are.

    I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t think about others or care for them, I’m saying that if caring for everyone else at the expense of always putting yourself last, then how effectively can you care for others?

     

     

    Have you heard the saying is you can’t pour from an empty cup?

    Essentially, the saying means that in order for you to effectively take care of others, you must first take care of yourself.

    So how do you fill that cup?  Because the fact is, you are worthy of putting your need first.  In fact, it is essential that you recognize what your needs are and start putting yourself first. Now if you have been putting everyone else first this notion of putting yourself first is going to feel uncomfortable.  I’m sure your mind has started to come up with lots of excuses about you putting your needs first.

     Often the mind will say things like this:

    • You can’t do that
    • That selfish
    • What will others think
    • I have to take care of my children, mother, father, partner.

    And let’s face it! the list could go on and on. But the fact of the matter is if you’re not taking care of yourself and putting your needs first who will take care of your needs?

    Do you ever catch yourself feeling resentful about doing so much for everyone else and no one seems to notice or be thinking about your needs,

    We teach others how to treat us and if you have always put everyone else first and our own needs last then this is what other will expect from us.

    You are worthy of having your needs met. In fact, it is essential that you start taking care of yourself and your needs. Stop putting yourself last and start putting yourself first for a change.

    I bet your next question is well that sounds great but how do I do that.

    You do that by starting to fill your own bucket!

    What does it mean to fill your own bucket? It means doing those things for yourself that you enjoy. You know those things that fill you up, energize you and give you joy in your life. Ultimately filling your own bucket.

    Unfortunately, these are often the things we push aside and come up with all sorts of excuses for why we can’t do those things that fill us up. Leading to a leaking bucket feeling depleted and your bucket empty.

    We are great at doing all we can to fill other’s bucket. But what about your bucket? How do you fill your bucket and prioritize yourself?

    Filling your bucket is about doing those things that are important to you. The things that you have a passion for, make life fun and enjoyable. Your bucket is completely unique to you. We all have things that light us up.

    What’s in your bucket?

    It’s time for you to have some fun and create your buckets. As I mentioned your buckets are unique to you. Don’t look outwards to find the answer go within, give yourself some time to reflect on what is important to you.

    Your bucket can take on many forms. It could be health, personal development self-care time. The list goes on.

    There are no limitations to what your bucket is. It is about you getting clear about what is important to you in life.

    Your mission if you’re ready to accept it is to create your buckets. Start by creating a list of all the things that are important to you. Those things that give you energy, support you or give you a whole lot of joy. Have fun and allow yourself to create your buckets.

    Here is an example of what my buckets look like. These are the things that fill me up.

    •  Quality Time with my partner
    •  Connecting with my Spirituality
    •  Taking care of my mental health
    •  helping others
    • Learning new things
    • Travel

    Create what’s important to you!

    Now it’s time for you to create your own list of buckets of the things that are important to you.

    Once you have your list of buckets. How are you going to make sure you fill each of them?

    Create a plan and prioritise your buckets. These are the things that are important to you and create your fulfilling life.

    You have two choices here. You can continue as you are and function on empty, or you can fill your bucket and feel full. It’s up to you.

    We must take care of ourselves before we have the capacity to care for others.  Else we end up with an empty bucket and feeling unfilled.

    Create your list of buckets and start filling them up!

    .

    Remember it’s not selfish to care for yourself it’s a necessary

    A Guide to Travel in Lombok

    A Guide to Travel in Lombok

    Welcome to Lombok

    You may not be as familiar with Lombok as you are with Bali. But let me reassure you Lombok has a lot of great things going for it.

    Lombok is located east of Bali about a 2-hour boat trip or 1-hour flight from Bali.

    Bali and Lombok may be similar in location, price and scenery however; there are some noticeable differences between the islands. The first thing you notices is Lombok has a different pace to Bali.

    If you searching for a more laid back slower pace of life then Lombok is your location.

    Lombok has fewer tourists than Bali and you can enjoy taking things slowly without the crowds.

    How to get to Lombok?

    There are a few options for travelling to Lombok Island. Lombok has an international airport located in the West Nusa Tenggara providence. However, if you are flying on a domestic flight be prepared for flight cancellation and check the luggage requirements, as the luggage is an extra cost to your ticket.

    The other option is by fast boat. The fast boat is a more reliable mode of transportation. There are a lot of choices for fast boats across from Bali to Lombok. I used blue water express on the way over and Gili Gateway on the way back to Bail. The boat ran on time and best of all!! no extra cost for luggage. The boat company will include transportation to your hotel once you reach your destination. Depending on the sea you may be in for a bumpy ride across to your destination. I recommend some seasick tablets just to be safe.

    Once you arrive at Lombok you a greeted by lush green mountains and spectacular views of the sea.

    Where to stay in Lombok?

    I chose to stay at two different locations so that I could explore different parts of the island. The first location I stayed was in Senggigi. Which is around the middle of the Island on the west coastline. Senggigi has a tropical green feel. The beaches are not suitable for swimming, but they do make a beautiful  backdrop for some lovely scenery. I stayed at the Chandi Boutique Resort Located in Jalan Raya Senggigi.

    Chandi Resort is a small resort located right on the beach. The resort offers a quiet and very peaceful location. It’s possible to walk to some of the local shops. I discovered a cute little French bakery right across the road Nico Boulangerie. The resort does have a restaurant and there are some great choices for food either  eastern and western meals.

     

    The other location I stayed was Kuta. Which is down the southern end of Lombok. Kuta is more of a tourist place and had a lot of great things going for it. Kuta is in the midst of more development and I predict will be a tourist hot spot in the next few years. You will be spoilt for a choice of amazing restaurants and café’s in the main street of Kuta

    I stayed at Jati Villas.

    Welcome to paradise!

    These villas are relatively new and opened in early 2022. As soon as you walk into the villas you are greeted by the most perfect tropical garden. The villas are all individual. You have your own private garden and best of all pool. The villas have the option of one bed or two beds. They are traditional teak villas and are set up with everything you need to enjoy your stay. The villas are located just off the main street of Kuta. Which means it’s quit. The main street of Kuta is an easy 5-minute walk.

    What to do Lombok?

    You have an endless array of choices, particularly if you enjoy nature. Choice from beautiful rice fields, waterfalls, and spectacular beaches to lush mountain rangers. Lombok offers some great options if you enjoy the great outdoors.

    Here are my recommendations.

    Tetebatu Walking Tour – Rice Terraces, Waterfall & Monkey Forest

    Tour by : Edi Tour Guide in Tetebatu

    This tour makes you feel like you have entered another world. Leave your troubles behind and put on your best walking shoes and set off to enjoy some of the best views Lombok has to offer. Be prepared to get a little wet and muddy, but it is well worth it. Getting to Tetebtu waterfall is an adventure in itself. You will walk through the green rice field, a tunnel filled with water, cross a bamboo bridge and finally, you hear the rush of water as you enter the magical place of Tebebatu waterfall.

    This waterfall directly flows from Mount Rinjani. Enjoy a swim in the cool water or, just sit back and relax on a rock and enjoy taking in the serenity of this place.

    You will then make your way through to the rice fields that offer the most spectacular views of the Tetebatu rice farms. Take in the view it’s well worth the walk.

    Then it’s time to visit Durian Indah waterfall. There an entry fee that was paid to the local community was included in our guided tour. The entry into the waterfall may set your heart racing.

    To get to the waterfall you need to cross a bamboo bridge that is high up above a lovely stream running below. If you are scared of heights, be prepared for a little heart-racing moment. As you cross the bamboo bridge (I was very grateful once I made it to solid ground on the other side). You then make your way down the steps to the waterfall. Your guide is there to help you every step of the way.

    Once you arrive at Durian Indah waterfall there is a  peaceful stream and two waterfalls. You can enjoy sometime swimming under the waterfall as it cascades off the rocks, or perch yourself on a rock and enjoy the tranquil sound of the rushing water. Be sure to stay for a while and rest, as you then have a bit of a walk ahead of you.

    Then it’s time to head off back through the rice fields into the national park and look for some wild monkeys in “Monkey Forest”. It can take some time to find where the monkeys are located. They were high in the trees and the guides pointed them out. There truly is nothing like seeing animals in their natural habit.

    Our tour guide Edi was amazing, I highly recommend this tour as a must-do.

     

     

    Lombok tours

    Local Villages 

    Sukara Weaving village

    Sukarere is the centre of Sasak woven cloth production. This village is located in Jonggat District, Central Lombok. Sukarere is about a 30-minute drive from Mataram.

    Sasak is the ethnic group that lives in this village. A Sasak woman must learn the skills of traditional woven cloth. According to Sasak tradition, a woman is not allowed to marry the men they love if they cannot weave. The art of waving is taught at a young age to girls many starting at the age of nine.

    Take a free tour around the village. Try your hand at some waving. You will be in awe of the skills this takes and the length of time to proceed with woven cloth. It takes up to 6-8 weeks to produce one beautiful woven cloth.

    Be sure to visit Panji Sari Women’s group weaving village shop. This is a co-op that helps support the women in the village. They sell their weaving in the co-op and the proceeds got to short the women in the village.

     

     

    Sade Village

    The traditional Sade Village is located in Pujut District, Central Lombok,

    A quiet village unspoiled by modern life. You feel like you take a step back in time. Don’t be fooled this village is not maintained just as a tourist attraction. The village continues to keep up all in traditional ways of life for 15 generations.

    Once you enter the Sade Village, you are greeted by a local guide, who will assist you in getting all the information you need about the history and way of life within the village.

    There are about 150 traditional houses in Sade Village. These houses have unique roofs, which are shaped like mountains and are built with reed grass. The walls and floors are made of clay mixed with rice bran, then covered with woven bamboo on the outer sides. The buildings of these houses have the title Bale Tani Gunung Ratu, which means they are shaped like a mountain with a flat base.

    It is important to note that all houses in the Sade Village area are residential houses, not exhibition buildings. Approximately 750 people live in the village. Tourists must remain respectful of the village, as the village is kind enough to open their homes to share with us their way of life.

    Lombok Temples 

    Lombok offers a diverse range of templates with some significant history. I chose to visit a few different temples.

    Meru Temple (Pura Meru)

    Once you arrive at the front of the temple, it is best to use a local guide to show you through at explaining the history. A local guide is available at the front of the temple for the cost of $10 AUD, and will give you a guided tour.

    Meru Temple is the biggest and is one of the oldest Balinese Hindu temples on Lombok Island. Built during the Dutch colonization by prince Bali Anak Agung Made Karang in 1744 this temple was a fortress during the second military aggression with the Dutch.

    Situated in the heart of Mataram, the colossal Pura Meru Temple is the largest Hindu place of worship in Lombok. Consisting of thirty-three shrines within its grounds.

    Pura Lingsar

    Just 6km east of Mataram, in the village of Lingsar. This temple is a must-see. It is a large temple and is considered the holiest in Lombok. It was built in 1714 by King Anak Agung Ngurah and is nestled amongst lush rice fields.

    Pura Lingsar is multi-denominational, with a temple for Balinese Hindus (Pura Gaduh) and one for followers of Lombok’s mystical take on Islam, the Wektu Telu religion.

    Pura Lingsar, is the largest temple in size and the most important temple in Lombok.

    A local guide will give you a guided tour and explain the extensive history. Tours cost about ($10-$15 Aud). Allow an hour to an hour and a half, to visit this stunning temple.

     Vihara Avalokitesvara

    A traditional Buddhist temple. The temple is free to enter. A tour of the temple was freely given, by the locals explaining the history of the 16th-century Buddhist Temple. A wonderful piece of history and a well-maintained Buddhist temple

     

    Kuta

    I would suggest that Kuta is the most tourist place on the main island of Lombok. It gives you the luxury of choice. You can do as much or as little as you want. Kuta offers a cute little town. The main street is an abundance of great restaurants and café. If you are up for some shopping, there are plenty of small boutiques and surf shops. There are also some small local markets scatted around the town. You are sure to pick up a few bargains. You notice that Kute is relatively quiet during the day, and then at night, all the tourists seem to make their way to the main street. Honesty, it’s not overall busy.  It’s  still easy enough to get a seat for dinner, or to walk around and enjoy the ampere in the main streets.

     

     

    If you want to venture a little further than the main town of Kuta you need transportation. The most common way to get around is by scooter. You can hire a scooter for as little as $15-20 Aud a day. It is relatively safe to ride and the roads have very little traffic on them. The other option is to rent a car or, a driver to take you around.

    Beaches

    Lombok offers some of the most scenic and spectacular beaches. With cliffs and lush mountains reaching to the coastline. It creates an inspiring landscapes and amazing views. The beaches are some of the best in Indonesia. Kuta offers pristine white sand and transparent blue greens in the water. It should also be noted that Kuta has some of the best surfing in the world. Half the fun of being in Kuta is discovery. I rented a bike and head off towards the coast. I found some of the best beaches and best of all there was not another person in sight. My recommendation is to head off along the coast towards Selong Belanak Beach. Along the way be sure to take a few detours down the dirt roads. You are greeted by some of the most spectacular coastlines.

    Selong Belanak Beach is well worth a visit. You find more tourists here however, is easy enough to find a quiet place to take in the beautiful scenery. There are also some small local cafes along the beach. It’s lovely to sit under an umbrella and enjoy a cool drink.

    Please note that at some of the main tourist beaches you will need to pay parking and entry fees. 10,000 Indonesian rupiah ($1 Aud)

    The beach that is located around the new motorbike track Mandalika is well worth a visit. Bukit Merese beach offers some of the most incredible views. You can enjoy a fall 360c view from the hilltop of the pristine beaches in one direction, Mandalika track and beautiful cliff tops.

    Restore and Relaxation

    On holidays who doesn’t need a little R and R. If wellness is your thing, then I highly recommend a class at Ashtari Yoga  . I did a Ying class and I have to say it was perfect. The Yoga studio is built on a hillside that overlooks Kuta town. You can see the tree canopies below and the beaches of Kuta. Well worth a visit at sunset. If yoga is not your thing you can still enjoin this fabulous location of Ashtari restaurant is a must on the to-do list. The restaurant is open and airy. Take a seat by the open window and gaze out across the hillside at the spectacular view. The food is some of the best we had in Lombok and offers a variety of Indian and western options.

    Let’s talk spa. If you need some pampering then I recommend heading to Matcha spa located on Kuta’s main street. You will need a booking an appointment, as the spa is popular with tourist.  The spa offers a variety of Massage options. All at very reasonable prices.

    There are so many reasons to visit Lombok. Lombok has so much to offer with its stunning scenery, secluded beaches coral reefs and mossy mountains. Oh, and did I mention its well-priced accommodation, its amazing choice of food, and its attractions.

    What is not to love about a trip to Lombok?

    Happy travels!

    An Introverts Guide to Pursuing Your Passion

    An Introverts Guide to Pursuing Your Passion

    As an introvert, you can be quick to talk yourself out of pursuing your passion.

    As an introvert, you can be quick to talk yourself out of pursuing your passion. That little voice loves to tell you all the reasons why you should stay in your comfort zone and not pursue what you truly want. Your passion and dreams!

    That voice gets louder and louder. Maybe it sounds something like this… I’m not confident enough, I’m too quiet I’m too shy, I don’t know where to begin. I’m not extroverted enough. Who wants to hear what I have to say. I’m not interesting enough. The voice goes on and on until you talk yourself out of taking the first step towards your passion. It can feel like a constant battle inside your mind, back and forth. Untimely holding yourself back from pursuing your passion.

    Just because you are, an introvert does not mean that you have to put your passion and dreams on hold. You have so much within you to share. Don’t let that voice in your mind, fill you with self-doubt or hold you back. You have your unique way of sharing your gifts and passion with the world. You may not be loud and extroverted. But you have your own beautiful way of communicating . It’s time to allow yourself to pursue that passion you have put on hold for so long.

    The first step to pursuing a passion is to get clear about what you are passionate about.

    Let’s start with the big question. You want to be crystal clear about what you are passionate about, your hopes and dreams for your life.

    Take out your journal, or a piece of paper and start by answering these questions:

    What are you passionate about?

    What do you love to do?

    What lights you up?

    Who or what do you want to give back to?

    It may be helpful to take some time free write in your journal about your passions. Don’t overthink it or edit your writing.  Allows the words to flow onto the page.

    Freewriting often provides amazing insights. Because you’re not trying to censor or control the experience.

    Give it a go and see what come through for you.

    Once you have answered these questions you have a clearer guide about what your passion is. Remember your passion will be unique to you. Don’t allow yourself to get caught in the comparison trap and try to fit into what you see others doing. You have your own specific talents, gifts and dreams that are meant for you. Define exactly what you are passionate about; you may have more than one passion. Good for you!

    Step two requires you to dive a little deeper and look at yourself honestly.

    Now you’re clear about what your passion is. Let’s explore a little more.

    How do you hold yourself back from pursuing that passion?

    This is no time to hideaway. You need to get real with yourselves. Your passion is too important.

    Answer this question :

    How are you holding yourself back from pursuing your passion or passions?

    You’re the only one who knows the truth about how you hold yourself back. Explore all the ways you hold yourself back. Is it confidence, self-doubt, negative self-talk? Make a list of how you hold back. Create the time and space to understand how you hold back, from pursuing your passion.

    We can often get stuck in our own way. We ruminate over and over again in our mind all the reasons why we shouldn’t or couldn’t do what we are passionate about.  We block ourselves and feel defeated before we even begin. By being aware of the tactics your mind uses to hold you back in your comfort zone. You can quickly defuse your thoughts process and get back on track to pursuing that passion of yours.

    Now you have more insight about the favorite tactic you use to hold back. Are you ready to let go of what is holding you back?

     It will mean you need to face some uncomfortable feelings and step outside your comfort zone. This can feel unsettling and scary. Your reaction could be to back away and tell yourself it’s all too hard. Another tactic the mind will use to try and keep you within the place that stays the same and predictable.

    But your passion is worth it. Please please know that you are worth it. The awareness of your thoughts, feeling and emotions, is a critical step. It allows you to recognize and letting go of what is holding you back.

    Understand you’re why.

    This is step three.  At this stage of your journey, take small steps. Be kind to yourself. Your mind will come up with lots of reasons why you shouldn’t pursue this passion. Be ready for it. You are more aware and prepared to recognize the tricks the mind plays to stop you from moving forward.

    The secret to being ready is to be clear about your “why” Your why is the reason you want to pursue this passion.

    Ask yourself right now why do you want this?

    What makes pursuing your passion important to you?

    Take to reflect and understand why YOU want this. It will set you up for success as you embark on this journey of pursuing your passion.

    Remind yourself not to look to the outside world to give you yours why. Only you hold the answer to why this is important to you. You’re why is unique to you. Be very clear with yourself why you want to pursue this passion.

    Once you have your why you have an amazing tool you can draw upon anytime you try and hold yourself back. Your why will be your reason to keep moving towards achieving this passion. Write you’re why down somewhere you can see it. It will act as a reminder when you face the challenge of that little voice. That creeps in expertly and tries to come up with a reason why you shouldn’t keep going with your passion.

    The final step .

    Say YES!

    You want to make this a double yes. Say yes to your passion and say yes to yourself. Give yourself permission to bring your passion alive. To create what you want. By saying yes to you and your passion, you give yourself another tool to overcome self-doubt. Saying yes helps you to find the inspiration to take the next steps towards that passion of yours.

    Move towards that passion of yours. Your a fully aware that that voice in your mind will come up with all sorts of reasons why you shouldn’t pursue your passion. You’re ready for it, you have the tools and awareness to keep moving towards that passion with confidence and purpose.  Go and take the first step today!

    Small steps in the right direction towards your passion can turn out to be the biggest steps to changing  your life

     

    Resources to support you

    Free guided hypnotherapy for Manifesting your dreams and passion. Listen here 

    Hope you feel inspired to start pursuing your passion. If you need more support, please click here

    The Pathway of change

    The Pathway of change

    A guide to navigating change in your life)

    At one point or another, we need to walk the pathway of change.

    Change is never easy. I will admit I never enjoy change. I like it when things are predictable and I have a plan.

    I will confess I like to feel I am in control.

    Our world has gone through a massive change and so many have felt the impact on a global scale.

    When we experience change, it feels scary and unstable. The mind likes to keep us safe. It will often bring up thoughts that fill us with fear. Not helpful! but the mind thinks it’s doing a good job at keeping us safe from harm. The mind likes to keep things familiar and predictable. The reality is most of us like to have some predictability in our life.

    When a change in your life occurs, how do you manage it is the question.

    Change is like walking down an unfamiliar pathway. We are met with an uncertainty of where it will lead, we may encounter detours, and we are not too sure of what we will encounter along the way. Deep down we hope the change will lead to something even better in our life. Yet, that uncertain voice inside of us will present all the “what-if scenarios”. We like to be prepared and have a plan in case something goes wrong.

    While we are walking the pathway of change how do we navigate the array of feelings and thoughts that come up?

    Here are three practices that can help you with navigating change in you life

    1. Discover the resources you have within you

    We all go through many phases of change within our lifetime. Reminding ourselves that we have been through change before. Think for a moment about who you are today. All the changing versions of yourself, you have experienced over your lifetime.

    A great way to recognise what changes you have been through is to look back and think about all the changes you have gone through .

    Take out a piece of paper find a quiet place and allow 15 minutes to create your change list.

    Write down a list of all the changes you can think of that you have gone through up until today.

    From the list look at the item think about either the lessons or the resources, you have gained from that change. There will be a mixture of positive change and change that may have difficult for you. Even from change that was difficult, some of the great’s lessons emerge. It can feel tough when you are going through change. But once you’re on the other side you have learned and grown from the experience.

    That’s why this practice is so powerful. It reminds us that even in difficult circumstances. We raise to the challenge and get through the change. We have the resources within us we have been through change before and we survived.

    2. Opening up the change.

    The more we resist change the more difficult we make it for ourselves. While we know this on a conscious leave, we still seem to love to resist change. We want to stay in our comfort zone where it is familiar and safe. But change is enviable. Everything changes no matter how much we want to keep it the same. Life is constantly evolving, let us make it easier on ourselves by opening up to change. Being open to change allows us the grace to be present and to feel what is coming up.

    Sit with the feeling and allowing the feeling to be there. It may feel uncomfortable. But have you noticed the more you try and resist the more uncomfortable the feeling becomes? Try allowing the feeling to be there. Bring your attention to the feeling and breath into it. Then allow yourself to open up to the feeling, without pushing it away, allow any feeling to be there as it is. Without pushing or fighting. Continue to observe any sensations you feel. If the feeling changes that is ok. If it doesn’t change that is ok also. The goal here is not to get rid of the feeling. The aim is to allow the feeling to be there.

    You may be asking what the point of this exercise is if you feel uncomfortable. This exercise is about showing you that uncomfortable feelings can arise within you. But, the more you push and try to get rid of them, the more uncomfortable and challenged your feelings. Through this struggle with feeling, you make the change more painful for yourself. By allowing the feelings to be there and being with it. You eventually drop the struggles with the feeling. You open up to and make room for the feeling. You’re making life easier for yourself. By allowing yourself to be open and flow with the change without resistance.

    3. Show yourself compassion

    One of the most important practices, when change happens, is to show compassion. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Take care of yourself. A simple way to show yourself compassion during times of change. Is to use compassionate hands practice.  Take your right hand and place it over your heart. Place your left hand on the upper part of your stomach. Imagine your hands are filled with loving compassionate energy. As you hold yourself with these compassionate hands. Allow yourself to take some slow deep breaths. You may want to repeat to yourself “ I am okay”

    This practice can be used anytime you need to show yourself love and compassion, during challenging times.  (I have recorded a guided practice for this here 

    Change within our lives is enviable. Things will change around us and within us no matter how much we want to hold onto the way things are. As you walk the pathway of change remind yourself. You have resources within you, you have been through change before. Resisting change makes, it is more difficult to allow yourself to open up to the feeling. The most important thing to remember is when you experiencing change, hold yourself with love and compassion

    If you need more support with the change you are experiencing in your life please please get in touch with me or have a look at my work with me page. I would love to support you during this time.

     

     

     

    How to Reduce Anxiety Naturally

    How to Reduce Anxiety Naturally

    Have you ever been harsh or critical with yourself? 

    Learn how to reduce anxiety naturally and instantly.

    Anxiety is something most of us will struggle with at one point or another in our lives.  The sudden sensation of racing heart,  fast shallow breaths, the mind starting to race, body tensing and the wave of emotions that takes over.

    A little while ago, this is exactly the feeling I was struggling with.

    The wave, of anxiety, would just hit. I would feel the surge within my body, breathing, and mind.  Honestly, when anxiety takes over it is difficult to get back control.

    You feel like you are in a constant state of fight or flight. The mind pulls you in with thoughts that amplified the anxiety. You feel completely overwhelmed

    in your body and mind. It is like being pulled in and not being able to disconnect from what going on within you.

    There are many ways to manage the feeling of anxiety. Did you know that you have a remedy that is safe, inexpensive, and effective?

    “Your breath”. The breath has amazing powers to calm anxiety naturally.

    Your breath is one of the best calming remedies for stress and anxiety and best of all it’s free!!!

    When someone is experiencing anxiety the breathing pattern changes. The breath starts to become shallow the person generally takes small breaths and uses the upper chest rather than their diaphragm to move the breath in and out of their lungs. This style of breathing causes feelings of increased anxiety.

    By controlling the breath or Pranayama practice as it referred to by yogis.

    Yogis have now for centers the amazing powers of the breath.  Now medical science is discovering the benefits and effectiveness that controlled breathing has on mental and physical health.

    This includes

    • Reduces feelings of anxiety
    • Lowered blood pressure
    • Improved heart rate
    • Reduced levels of stress hormones
    • Balances the  levels of oxygen and carbon dioxide
    • Improved immune system functioning
    • Increased physical energy
    • Increased feelings of calm and wellbeing.

    When you’re in a state of relaxation your breath through the nose slowly gently and evenly. When anxiety takes over the breathing pattern changes rapidly it is generally the opposite of relaxed breathing.

    To give you a guide I have put together four breathing practices. These practices are effective for calming yourself gain back a sense of control.

    The Balancing Breath for Anxiety

    Balanced breathing is nature’s gift to help work with anxiety, by deliberately focusing on inhalation and exhalation.

    Steps:

    1  Begin to focus on your breathing, connect with the inhale and exhale as it is naturally, not changing anything just notice for a moment.
    2  Now focus on slowing your breath and deepening it slightly.
    3 Inhale for 5 counts.  Hold for the count of 2 Exhale for 5 counts. (this is one cycle)
    4  Continue for 10 cycles

    Benefits of Balancing Breathe

    The benefits of balancing breath include:

    -Regulation of your stress response.
    -Regulate your emotions
    -Clears the mind to improve your thinking and processing abilities.

    Alternate Nostril Breathing.

    This breathing practice is great for relaxing the body and the mind. It creates a feeling of balance and grounding. It also helps to reduce anxiety and promotes overall mental and physical wellbeing.

    Steps:

    1. Sit in a comfortable position, sit up straight with your spine in alignment.
    2. Using your right hand bring your thumb to rest your right nostril.
    3. Place ring finger on the left nostril.
    4. Begin by breathing in through both nostrils. And then breath out through both nostrils.
    5. Close the right nostril with the thumb and inhale through the left nostril
    6. Close the left nostril ring finger and breathe out through the right nostril.
    7. Inhale through the right nostril.
    8. Close the right nostril and breathe out through the left nostril.

    This is one cycle. Continue to repeat alternating nostril breathing until you feel balanced and clean.

    Benefits:

    Balances the brain. This is a great practice to do throughout the day to help rebalance the right and left hemispheres of the brain. It clears the mind and that foggy feeling !!! and helps with balancing emotions.

    One Minute- Mindful Relaxation  Breathing

    Let’s face it feeling of anxiety is mentally exhausting. By using mindfulness to focus your attention on the present moment helps calm the mind and reduce anxiety. This breathing practice brings a sense of calming when the sudden wave of anxiety or stress takes hold.

    Steps:

    1:Tune into the breath: just notice the breath without changing anything for a moment.
    2: Focused on the breath and start to change the rhyme of the breath. Inhale slowly and say to yourself “breath in” – fill your lungs with the breath. Then exhale completely: say to yourself: ” breath out ” -as you fully empty your lungs.
    Continue for one minute.
    3: Complete the exercise by placing your hand on your heart and saying thank you to yourself. Thank you for taking the time to breathe and be calm.

    Benefits of mindfulness practice:

    • By focusing on the here and now you are less likely to get caught up in worrying thoughts
    • Being mindful helps to take pleasure in life as it occurs
    • Mindfulness improves mental health
    • Improves physical health
    • Mindfulness can help improve sleep
    • Mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress, anxiety and other mental health issues.

    Diaphragmatic Breathing

    When you experience anxiety your breathing becomes shallow and contracted to the upper chest area. By using diaphragmatic breathing, it allows you to fully in inhalation and exhalation.  This type of breathing helps to breathe deeply with focus and bring about a sense of relaxation

    Steps

    1.  Sit comfortably with your spine in alignment.
    2.  Place your left hand on your upper chest and the right hand below your rib cage on your belly. Relax and breathe normal noticing the breath for a moment.
    3. Then focus on the  Inhale through the nose taking a long slow breath in.  Feel the hand on your belly move up with the in-breath. As you exhale notice the hand move back down towards your spine.
    4. Focus on controlling the breath. The hand on your belly should move up and down with each breath while the hand on your chest should remain as still as possible. Experiment until you get the breath right.
    5. Now you have a feel for belly breathing include the following count: Inhale for 5 counts and exhale for 5 counts. (1 full round = 10 counts)
    6 . Repeat for  5 full rounds.

    The benefits of belly breathing included:

    – Regulation of your stress response so you’re less reactive.
    – Regulation of your emotion Improves thinking and processing abilities.
    – Effective in helping with mental health conditions such as stress, anxiety, and depression.

    “The Breath” is a simple tool that can be used any time to promote physically, mentally and emotional health.
    In challenging, stressful and anxiety proving situations one of the best things to do is to turn to the breath.
    By taking control of your breath, it helps to naturally calm anxiety.

    It is also like hitting the reset button for your body and emotions. Remember the breath is one thing that is always available to you and best of all you can draw upon it anytime you need it to calm anxiety. I truly hope this helped you with some practical ways to manage your feeling of anxiety.

    If you need more, support with anxiety or further exploring breathing practices learn more about how I can help you Here.

    Please note these practices are intended as a guide to be used in combination with professional mental health support.

    If you want more free resources to support your mental health, I have created some beautiful free  resources for you HERE

     

     

    Release Anxiety While You Sleep

     As you drift into a deep sleep release anxiety and enjoy a peaceful healing sleep. 

     

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